A BRIEF HISTORY
OF TIME
If you’re reading this, welcome to my coping corner. Making this helped me from losing it for the past days. This is not part of the birthday greeting but more like a collection of memories I had with you. We don’t have an anniversary date but you officially asked me out on your birthday. I wasn’t really planning for you to see this but maybe you’d find some sort of comfort with this too.
*Warning: Read with caution. Themes of cheesiness, sentiment and drama. Text can be long with poor web design. If you don’t want to hear any more of me, close this page.
Hello again,
How are you? I’d like to imagine you’ve been doing well. I hope you are.
I wish I could take credit but some poet, my approximate knowledge can’t remember, once said
I am trying to let you go
and remember you
at the same time
-mourn
I’ve been experiencing 7 stages of grief at the same time and writing my thoughts down became a way that I wanted to celebrate and reminisce the life I had with you. You could say I’ve been relentlessly going through everything I had left of you. Still finding a way to grasp those memories as well as reality itself. Maybe I’m obsessed, I am crazy after all. It also doesn’t help that I have the worst memory and I would constantly lose captured moments with you through the years. How cruel are the gods to have one that easily forgets and the other who remembers forever. So walk with me as I attempt to piece things together through this website.
*insert prom photo of us*
It surprises me how long it’s actually been but at the same time it feels like I’ve known you all my life. We were both different yet the same people since then.
You watched me change my hair the way I watched seasons change through your car window.
I watched you gag from a single bite of lettuce to you intentionally incorporating veggies in your meals. I watched you struggle with calorie counting while I was obsessed with checking the number on the scale. As much as you hated me watching you eat, you’d offer to watch me eat when I couldn’t eat anything.
You’ve listened to me every time I wanted to die and you held me through it. I’ve seen you breakdown, have a full-blown panic attack and question reality.
We watched each other move from one house to another.
We celebrated each other’s milestones; from graduating highschool to entering college to getting a job/ comission. Hopefully we’d get to graduate college too.
You watched me fall asleep while I watched you go through your day.
Suddenly I am reminded how much we tried to forget the distance between us. No matter how connected I felt with you, it will always be there.
As I recount all those little moments change, I realized how our love towards one another changed.